You know that sinking feeling you have that something is not supposed to be a certain way? I had that sinking feeling weeks ago. I decided to ignore it and changed my mind a few days later. It did nothing to my sanity but I did pursue it. Fate would have it that I was right, it would carry on as written, and there is nothing I can do about it.
As if I am a bottomless pit of strength of character or whatever, I neglected cardio (yes, I know) for a fortnight this time (again, shut up) so I decided to go back to the gym yesterday. After 20 minutes, I was done but I forced myself to continue. Over an hour passed and I decided it was time to pack it in. This morning, I thought of skipping the gym but decided against it and tortured myself again although just shy of an hour.
I do not have to tell you my legs and thighs hurt like hell. Actually, my shoulders have been killing me for the past few days. Last week, my right arm and shoulder hurt. It finally stopped hurting a few days ago. Yesterday, I had a sharp shooting pain from my left shoulder all the way down to my elbow.
Every day, that sinking feeling gets more pronounced.
I used to welcome these vibes and feelings but nowadays, I am not so sure. It is as if I am trapped in a bad horror movie and the person with the axe never dies – like Freddy Krueger. You cannot kill him and you need the mental strength of an ironman or something in order to defeat him; or at least put him to a deep sleep – and hopes nobody finds his unmarked grave where you buried him.
I am not saying these feelings and vibes are manifesting themselves in myself in the physical form, hurting my limbs but it does wreak havoc with my mental state. The physical hurt I am experiencing is not helping me deal with these vibes at all.
I guess I can always imbibe in copious amount of alcohol although I do not see how that would help me deal.
To recap, I am an idiot who does not know what to do with all vibes that keep coming. Not only that, I am a bigger idiot for neglecting cardio for more than a week despite having experienced pain and suffering because of it.
What does an idiot do after realising all of his or her stupidity? Is that person still an idiot, having realised his or her mistakes?
Of course, she is a moron because she keeps repeating her mistakes.
What is a girl to do in this case?
SuriaMentari notes to self: is life so difficult, you think…?
Sounds like you are suffering sympathy pains from someone. The best thing you can do when you fall off the cardio wagon is get back on it as soon as possible. You are not an idiot for falling off it. Just human. It happens to everyone. You would only be an idiot if you didn’t recognize it or gave into the slothness of the laziness and did not continue. But you did, so you are smart.